It's okay to talk about birth, okay - then menstruation. I first started my advocacy for women's health in the field of reproductive freedom, and the next stage would be bringing menopause out of the closet. - Cybill ShepherdThis blog post is a huuuuuuuuuge departure from my typical content for this blog. However, after a conversation with someone who has had some serious struggles with menopause, I was struck by the lack of serious dialog and information regarding serious menopause issues, thus producing deep ramifications for many people in the areas of relationships and society-at-large.
The content that follows was extracted from actual information sent to me by this person and I adapted it for this blog post.
The primary content is raw and unedited and for this reason, was not contained on my regular page.
However, there is a need for more dialog around some of the more sensitive issues of menopause and for this reason, I present this #1206 blog post.
The #1206 “fiction” series continues …. (note the mature language warning).
“F&*! me in the ass and make it hurt”, Beth screamed loudly as she thrashed wildly in bed.
“What did you say, my love?”, her husband asked sleepily, stirred awake by his wife’s loud, raw demand.
Beth stared in shock and dismay as she watched the video of herself in bed with her husband and listened to herself say things that she knew were not part of her desire, her need or her character.
“You are shocked by what you see”, said a voice behind her.
Beth nodded but said nothing, watching the rest of the conversation unfold in their marital bed. Suddenly, the scene changed and her husband was sitting on the couch, his head bent low in his hands and she watched herself walking into the living room. “I did it again, didn’t I?”, she heard herself ask her husband, “I said something else that I shouldn’t have.” He looked at her and mouthed a kiss but said nothing as he put his head in his hands again.
Beth’s eyes began to well up as she watched a replay of what she had experienced last night with her husband. Her voyage into menopause had been nothing like what she had been told it would be. When it started, her doctor asked about her hot flashes, whether she was tired or not and what her sex drive was like and with those simple questions, had prescribed hormone replacement theory. When she asked other women in her family what menopause would be like, she was told that she would have a hot flash or two and then it would be over.
No one had ever said it would be anything like this!
“I don’t understand. How did you record this?”, Beth asked quietly as other videos began to play. One in particular really struck her as she watched a replay of the night where she had told her husband that she wished he could be as good as the man that she had had an affair with the previous year. Her heart broke as the video zoomed in on her husband and she saw his face twist with a mix of anguish and anger as the insult of last year was thrown back into his face, with the added insult of her comment that he wasn’t as good as the man he despised.
“I can’t watch anymore”, she said, turning away from the images playing before her. Her body shook as she began to sob uncontrollably.
The voice spoke again, its owner veiled by the subdued lighting in the room.
“Your species is changing violently”, the voice said quietly. “A mix of hormones in your food, food additives that should not exist and the pressures of everyday living are bending your brain and body in ways that few are willing to discuss.”
“I don’t understand”, said Beth as she composed herself, “No one in my family has ever had issues like this.”
“Observe”, ordered the voice and Beth turned to look at the screen again.
Images of family members of hers flashed across the screen, showing people she had reached out for advice. She was shocked as images of family members doing and saying things that were embarrassing, vulgar or humiliating passed before her eyes.
“This is not possible”, she said, “They told me the complete opposite of what you are showing me.”
“Do you really think anyone has the courage to share something like this?”, asked the voice. “Who could ever admit to having said or done the things that you just saw?”
“But my doctor didn’t even ….”, protested Beth but the voice cut her off.
“Do you really think your doctor is interested or has the courage to tell you that these things could happen?”, the voice asked. “Imagine if you told your husband that in a few months, you will start saying and doing these things. How does one ease someone into such a shocking scenario? It’s easier to just leave it until it happens. On an similar note, the same things are being doing with your species in regards to emergency preparedness. It’s easier to let bad things happen rather than to try to explain the difficulties that are coming. It creates less panic this way.”
“What is happening to me?”, asked Beth quietly, “Am I losing my mind?”
“On the contrary”, the voice replied. “What is happening is easily explained. By day, your menopause occasionally clouds or subdues your conscious mind. When it does, your subconscious mind is allowed to come forward and express its own interests and desires. By night, your conscious mind is already dormant and your subconscious is free to play out its fantasies.”
“But these are not my fantasies”, protested Beth as she waved her hands in frustration.
“The subconscious mind is a smorgasbord of ideas, some raw, some nonsensical, some that appear to violate your own beliefs and some that may even be vulgar or offensive to you. Other parts of the brain filter these out from your awareness most of the time but occasionally, such as in the situations we are discussing, the subconscious is free to play and express its own random thinking. Remember that the subconscious has no awareness of right or wrong, good or bad or the things that are important to you. It merely seeks to express its random collection of thoughts.”
The voice continued.
“What complicates your Life is that the subconscious seeks to create a world that it knows. Did you not experience spousal abuse at the hands of a previous spouse or parental abuse earlier in your Life?”
Beth nodded silently and looked down at the floor, feeling a wave of embarrassment wash over her as the secrets of her Life were presented so matter-of-factly by the unseen stranger.
“It is nothing to be ashamed of”, said the voice, somehow reading her emotions. “Your history in this regard is not your fault. You and your present husband, through a collision of hormonal changes and basic brain functions, are in some ways reliving your past. Your subconscious brain seeks to recreate its past because it is what it knows. Your own medical researchers have determined that you are creatures of habit, with your subconscious mind seeking to keep the world it knows in play, even if that world is unhealthy or dangerous for you. Remember that it doesn’t know the difference between right or wrong. It just seeks to keep the past alive in your present.”
Beth continued to stare at the floor, her embarrassment being replaced by bewilderment and confusion. “Who is this?”, she thought, “and why is he telling me this?”
Again the voice appeared to interpret her emotions.
“It is important that you understand what is happening to you”, the voice said. Your medical field has kept millions of women in the dark for decades regarding the real truths and horrors of menopause. Governments and corporations have played dumb in regards to their own contribution to the difficulties you are experiencing and so millions of couples are left to suffer in silence.”
The voice softened.
“At some point”, it said gently, “you will be asked by a friend or family member what menopause was like for you as they prepare to experience it. Do you really believe you can answer their questions with honesty based on what you have said and done in your own experiences?”
Beth shook her head quietly.
“Of course not”, replied the voice, “so why do you expect anyone to be honest with you and thus the generational cycle of misinformation and suffering continues.”
The voice paused before continuing.
“The impacts of this go well beyond the difficulties, strain and embarrassment that this is creating for you and your husband”, the voice said. “When you are disrupted or upset, you take these feelings into the world, sharing your negative energy with others. This impacts others who in turn pass it on. Observe.”
The screen lit up again and she watched as a young man stared at himself in a mirror, weeping silently. Suddenly she was horrified as he put a pistol to his head.
The image darkened but the sound of the gun discharging caused her to jump.
“Would you like us to connect the dots between how your menopause and its effect on your husband impacted someone else, which impacted someone else and so on, eventually leading to the death of the person you were just watching?”, the voice asked.
“No”, Beth said quietly, “Is this really possible?”
“What do you think?”, asked the voice,.
Beth was silent.
“You know what you need to do, don’t you?”, asked the voice.
Beth shrugged but said nothing.
“You are one of many women that we have reached out to”, said the voice. “Your healthcare industry which won’t discuss the truth about menopause, corporations who benefit by not being held responsible for their contributions to the issue, pharmaceutical companies that benefit by medicating the issue and governments who have allowed the issue to develop are all doing nothing to help you. It is time to help yourselves. Here is what you need to do.”
Beth listened as the voice explained what she needed to do.
She took a deep breath and released it with a sigh.
She knew what she would do next.
To be continued.
© 2014 – Harry Tucker – All Rights Reserved
Background:
The information about how menopause clouds the conscious mind is documented and easily found with a Google search.
Research on the subconscious mind and the notion that it will seek to recreate its past as its present as a place of comfort (even to one’s detriment) has also been documented by many researchers.
In regards to the person who contacted me looking for a voice, her struggle with menopause and the strain created on her relationship is genuine. The notes that she provided to me go into much deeper, more painful and more raw detail than I have included here. Currently, the only options offered to her would be to go on antidepressants or consider hypnotherapy in an effort to alter her behavior, options that she doesn’t wish to pursue.
The ripple effect of what our positive or negative energy does to others has long been known as well.
I found the collision of all of these things to be irresistible, providing food for thought and perhaps encouraging conversation about the elephant in the room when it comes to menopause.
My blog now returns to its regularly scheduled programming. :-)
Series Origin:
This series, a departure from my usual musings, is inspired as a result of conversations with former senior advisors to multiple Presidents of the United States, senior officers in the US Military and other interesting folks as well as my own professional background as a Wall St. / Fortune 25 strategy and large-scale technology architect.
While this musing is just “fiction” and a departure from my musings on technology, strategy, politics and society, as a strategy guy, I do everything for a reason and with a measurable outcome in mind. :-)
This “fictional” musing is a continuation of the #1206 series noted here.
No comments:
Post a Comment